What a Self-Destructive Horse Taught Me About Hope

Five life lessons from Bojack Horseman.

Welcome to Love + Travel, where adventure is a way of life.

You can find the entirety of my writing here, including poetry in last week’s, The Cold Holds So Much Warmth.

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A handful of things thrill me:

The first step out of a vehicle wearing a bad boot. The British pronunciation of “daughter”. Watching fireworks from a rooftop. The sound of snow sliding off a branch. When Trinis point with their lips. Getting the last of whatever I was looking for in-store. Glimpsing the Little Red Lighthouse at the foot of the George Washington Bridge. A parking lot shopping cart handoff. When nail techs hold wet acrylic on their brush up to the light. Catching 12:34 on the clock. And when kids sit in a W - just to name a few.

All of the above are split-second, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments that feel so special. They’re fleeting. Briefly curling the ends of my lips and then often disappearing as quickly as they arrive. Wondrous in the moment and absolutely inconsequential afterward. I’ve said “perfect moment” in their midst as a wish for more ephemeral moments like these to be sent my way.

Then, there’s the show Bojack Horseman.

When it comes to Bojack, I’d happily throw all those experiences out of a third-story window into a dumpster piled high with trash, light it on fire, kick it down a hill, and turn my back in blatant disregard for where it ends up or what it ignites.

Bojack sees the awe and idyllicism of life and raises it two gut punches and a black eye.

It’s my favorite show in the whole wide world.

Bojack Horseman follows the titular character as he reckons with the consequences of being responsible for his own life. Back in the 90’s he was in a very famous TV show and the series drops in 30 years later, as BoJack attempts to mount a comeback. While at times compassionate and sincere, BoJack is an anxious, depressed, and substance-abusing horse whose search to fill his inner loneliness traps him in the familiar pitfalls of fame. His cynical and self-destructive behavior is fueled by sex, several addictions, and a crippling need for approval that wrecks his relationships with those closest to him.

The series captures the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, seamlessly blending comedy and heartbreak—much like life itself. The weight of the storyline is offset by its relatable characters and the absurdity of BoJack’s anthropomorphic world, where a sheep gardener uses both his teeth and shears to trim hedges, and a chameleon blends into her surroundings to make a quick, covert escape from a date.

Across six seasons and 77 episodes, BoJack Horseman’s ability to explore hardship, the long arc of redemption, and the pivotal role relationships play along the way—most notably, the relationship we have with ourselves has earned it critical acclaim as one of the best television series of all time. The writers navigate dark themes with a masterful balance of subtlety and mic-drop moments that often left me pausing mid-episode to let the wisdom of their words sink in. This tragicomedy challenges the viewer to see the cast, and ultimately themselves, as never too far from taking control of one’s life.

Here are five unforgettable quotes about self-determination that continue to resonate:

In the final episode of season one, Diane delivers this sobering line after Bojack asks if she thinks he’s a good person “deep down.” It immediately calls to mind the adage, “actions speak louder than words.” Her response challenges the comforting belief that intentions or intrinsic nature hold more weight than outward actions. There’s no ambiguity in her statement—no gray area. If you want to be a good person, you have to act good.

This prospect is understandably terrifying for Bojack because it holds him accountable for his actions and behaviors. It suggests that only our impact on the world truly matters—not the intentions in our heart as those actions are taken. Bojack’s response to her insight is, “that’s depressing.”

After collapsing onto his back from exhaustion, Bojack stares up at the sky, struggling to catch his breath. A jogging baboon eclipses the sun and delivers this remark straight to his face. Sometimes, the answers to our struggles are subtle, requiring us to keep our eyes and ears open. Other times, they’re delivered directly to us, just when we need them most. In this moment, the baboon offers a simple truth: any challenge becomes easier with consistency. The real challenge, though, is not just hearing the advice—it’s returning to it, time and time again.

At this very moment I knew this series did not come to play! What brings Diane and Bojack to Cuddlywisker’s house in the first place is someone noticed his absence and wanted to ensure he was okay. Diane admonished him, calling him selfish for disappearing to his home in Ojai, where he was living in quiet contentment. This was of no consequence to him, and rightfully so as he was demonstrating one of life’s many paradoxes. In the same way love is not attachment but freedom, and the more you know, the more you realize you don't know; by being selfish about our happiness, we are being generous. It demonstrates that one does not need to rely on approval outside of themselves to live a life of satisfaction. The most generous thing we can ever do is act for the benefit of our happiness because it frees those around us to do the same.

The silence that follows Cuddlywisker’s monologue follows into the next scene for effect. This of course, goes right over Bojack’s head as he dismisses the weighted response in an attempt to distance himself from the responsibility of its message.

Ah, acceptance - the space where we can look at the landscape of our lives in non-judgment and decide how we want to move forward in the journey. While Diane is pictured, it is Bojack’s voice that punctuates the scene and delivers the powerful line as she reads his letter from rehab. Both are at a crossroads - Diana in her indecision of leaving the familiar misery of LA for Chicago and Bojack in his doubtfulness of staying clean once back in the real world. Horseman’s clarity seems to make the choice easier for her as it is the last time we see in her in “La Triste Apartments.” There’s no clearer metaphor than that. It’s always within our decision if we want to vacate the sad space we occupy.

Say what you want about Todd, but you can’t say he doesn’t allow things to unfold as intended. Whether sleeping on Bojack’s couch, drafting a rock opera or babysitting littles, he is never without two things: his yellow skully and an intuitive spirit. He trusts that things will end up how they should and lands on his feet every time.

In the final episode of the series, the king of the B-storyline discerns sage life advice from the hokey pokey dance. He argues people place too much emphasis on the dance part and not enough on the ending of the verse. While none of us have control over where and to whom we are born, we all have a choice over how we spend our time. If we aren’t pleased with where we are at any time, we get to do something about it. We can turn ourselves around. Life is a dance, and I hope you make several 180s.

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TODAY’S TIDBIT

Machel Montano made history this month as the first soca artist to perform on NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert. Twenty minutes was not nearly long enough for a performer with over 40 years in the game, and yet I still jumped until I sweat. Do yourself the favor and watch.

Shout out to ✨Alexis✨ for telling me about the drop.

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COMMUNITY CORNER

⛪️ Whew!

Iman N. Milner

examines the exploitative culture within the Black church in “Saved, Sanctified and Sad: On How Churches Fail Black Women.”

👩🏾‍🦱 Whether you rock your hair in a puff, plaits, or twists, I imagine so many Black women will resonate with

Jasmyne’s Journal

take on “My Relationship with My Natural Hair.”

🏠 Travel. Cute Decor. And a musing on home. Thank you

biglittlemia

for sharing how “Making A House Into A Home” is so much more than physical items but the safety and peace that comes along with making space for yourself.

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LET ME KNOW

What’s something that thrills you?

Do you watch Bojack? What’s your favorite episode?

Did any of these quotes resonate?

Name a main character from a book or show that made it hard for you to root for them.