Knowing Thy Self

There's nothing wrong with second thinking

Hello, hi, it's mid-October!

I haven't pulled out any wool socks yet, but New England's autumn is doing its thing. The air is chill, the leaves are beautiful, and sports abound.

Bae and I caught the Red Sox's last home game, so that's off our to-do list, and we hit Gillette stadium to watch the Revolution—A1 experience. We yell "Chancalay" often now. The mid-fielder was a fan favorite.

Both teams lost 😃

In other news, we're in our final two weeks of living in Massachusetts, and I may or may not have packed a box or two.

Sayonara, Burlington!

Free birds have to fly. Change has a way of forcing reflection. I'm giving thanks for how far I've come. It is a blessing to always to have somewhere to go next.

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The other day, while scrolling, I was caught off guard by my damn self.

I was winding down after returning home for the evening. My coat rests on a hanger stashed in the front closet, and I'd kicked off my shoes moments earlier. I made no subtlety of my exhaustion and laid out starfish style on the living room floor.

After hoisting my phone above my head, I tilted back and stared at passing images.

One was a carousel of a social event.

There was music, fancy attire, and the usual party fair, and I thought, "wow, I wish I had more of that."

Not even five seconds later, I said to no one, "Actually, I don't."

Yes, a night out of that scale looks super enticing compared to my *looks around* regularly scheduled programming, but in reality, I don't want more of that.

I love being a homebody. I enjoy the comfort of routines, and consistency brings me so much solace. I become giddy if I call it a night earlier than expected and am all about double blanket snuggles. I am introverted. I know this. I need loads of time to recover after social events and find nothing about a crowd relaxing.  

I imagine this part of me - the one that kept makeup-removing wipes in my car's center counsel so I could be one layer removed from an event when my car's engine turns over – responded so clearly.

I don't need more. I need to savor the craisin-size presence I've assigned it in my life. 

A sweet spot but not something I build my life around.  

The values I do build my life around are adventure, compassion, security, autonomy, and beauty. Those are my top five.

Cheers to knowing myself. And being able to say no.

Let me know when you last checked yourself 😂. And drop your values below ⤵️

I wish you the comfort, feels, and gentleness of a thousand rose petals.

Love,

R.