Boundaries
Should your chain-link fence have a door?
Boundaries are ubiquitous.
In penmanship, you'll find spacing and margins. While in sports, we call them bounds. They're called borders in geography, and in mathematics, we say perimeter. Many words for the same thing. A divide.
A noted separation between what is and isn't. What's in and out, and most importantly, what belongs to us and what is not ours at all.
On my afternoon walks around my neighborhood, there are all kinds of boundaries. For some, a calf-high rock wall marks where one yard ends and another begins. I've witnessed a single tree serve as a reference point between residences and, interestingly enough, for lawns, a change in grass species forms a subtle but efficient split. One of my favorites is a play area – complete with a jungle gym, swing set, and slide – creating neutral ground between two households with small children.
Boundaries remind us of the areas where we have free reign and where we're to consult others once crossed.
I walked along my usual route until I came upon a new build. It was in the later stages of development and free of siding, leaving the "Tyvek" wrap to prove its worth against the elements. I peered along the side yard and saw young trees lined up. Complete with burlap sacks around their root system and green twine restraining their branches. Each was just a few feet in front of their respective holes.
The trees backed up to the neighbor's wood fence and, while small now, even in two years, will grow sturdy, providing shade, and permanence to where the family's land ends and where it begins.
The sight made me think of my boundaries. The non-negotiable ones I hold, those newly formed, and the transient bunch that can shift more quickly than a rooted tree ever could.
They say a blade of grass survives the hurricane because it bends in the wind, while a ridged oak becomes uprooted. We only know the value of our bounds based on what remains once the storm has passed.
Tell me about some freshly laid boundaries in your life. Are there any you're contemplating shifting or lifting completely?
I'm wishing you a rest and boundary-filled remainder of the week.
Best,
R
Boundaries are something I learned later in life, and I continue to learn them now. Be it my own or others, I’ve grown to respect them. They have been pivotal in my evolution.
In the past, I struggled with boundaries. It often made me think that people would change ion abandon me. When actuality I’ve learned that boundaries lead to more intimacy, because when we draw them it’s a form of having more stake in the relationship.